Ready Set....Don't Go

This has nothing to do with Eli walking.

Okay so it is happening. Wesley is spreading his wings and flying off, tomorrow to be exact. As most of you know we took Wes in to our home at the beginning of November when we flew him home to be with his very sick mom. We told him then that no matter what happened our home was his. Well to be real honest I never imagined that his mom would really die. I think it was a denial thing for me, like why would a "good" God do something so wrong. Well He did. He took Ms. Jeanne from Wes, and us, three months ago. And well ever since then Wes has been one of ours. I really didn't intend on loving him like my own son, but I did/do.

When his mom first passed, he and I would spend many evenings talking, I would mostly listen, but it was good. He would share his dreams and desires and then ask what I thought about them. I would share my thoughts and then he would move onto another thought/concern. I remember one night within the first month of her passing, it was just him and I at the dinner table. He had shared a lot of his feelings, plans, and so on. I got up from the table, still listening, and went to start the dishes. He got quiet and then said, "You know, me and my mom used to do this. I would talk and she would just listen. Thanks." I said you're welcome and went on my way. It was nice to know he appreciated it, but I think it made him appreciate his mom more.

Any ways like I said at the beginning, Wes is flying out tomorrow early morning. And guess what, I'm sad. Actually I'm sad, scared, and worried. I really feel like my own son is going off to start his "new" life tomorrow. It was a bit unexpected, but deep down inside I've known it was going to happen eventually. He isn't a sitting duck, he gets bored, he loves an adventure. But I just didn't think it would happen this soon. He came to me last Wednesday, my birthday, gave me a dozen beautiful roses and card and then sat down at the kitchen table while I cooked dinner. I could tell he needed to talk or share something. I just came out and asked what was up. He then began sharing that he felt like God wanted him to GO and finish out the dream He has for him. The one him and his mom had talked many times about. I told him to go for it. Inside I was worried. Was he running from the grieving? I honestly hadn't really seen much emotion from him since the funeral, and he had finally taken care of all of stuff. Was he just not dealing? I didn't come out and share that with him though. No instead I said go for it and that I supported him all the way. He then went on to share his fears of disappointing Barry. Crazy I thought as he was talking. I seriously felt like I was having a conversation with my 18 year old son who is jumping from one career to another. I told him not to worry with Barry, but that he needed to talk with him. So that night me, Barry, and Wes set up until early the next morning and talked about his dreams, plans, goals. Barry shared that he was afraid he hadn't thought the whole thing out and that he was running from responsibility. I told him I was worried about the money and his bills, a true mother thought huh? We each sat there in the quietness of the room while Wes sat there and took in what our thoughts were. I happened to glace over and saw a little boy sitting there with his lip quivering. It broke my heart. I told him to stop holding back and to just cry. He said he didn't want to be weak. Barry and I both told him that a real man is one that will cry when he needs to. And at that moment, thru my tears and open ears I heard my son, Wes weep. He shared with us that he weeps every night to go to sleep and that he knows his mom wants him to GO and make disciples, and that he is ready. We told him that we supported him and that no matter what happened he is always welcome at our home. Our home is his home. And the very next day he began packing and getting his plans locked in.

Every night I've thought about it and every night I get a bit sad. And then over the weekend he asked if we could get a family picture taken so he could have his family go with him and at that moment I realized that he is our/my son. I might not be his birth mother, God knows I didn't birth him at age 7, but I am him mom and Barry is his dad. We will all miss him. And tomorrow I will watch, with a smile, my son spread his wings and fly and pray that we've all clipped them enough along the way to make them strong now. Wes, the boy I once couldn't barely stand, is now someone I will have a hard time letting go. Man God works in crazy ways.

As I was writing this I thought of a song by Billy Ray Cyrus, here are the lyrics and I've changed them a bit to match:

He's gotta do what he's gotta do

And we've gotta like it or not

He's got dreams too big for this town

And he needs to give 'em a shot

Whatever they are
Looks like he's all ready to leave

Nothing left to pack

There ain't no room for us in that car

Even if he asked us to tag along

God I gotta be strong

He's at the startin' line of the rest of his life

As ready as he's ever been

Got the hunger and the stars in his eyes

The prize is his to win

He's waitin' on our blessings before he hits that open road

Buddy get ready

Get set

Don't go

He says things are fallen into place

Feels like they're fallen apart

We painted this big ol' smile on our face

To hide our broken hearts

If only he knew

This is where we don't say what we want so bad to say

This is where we want to but we won't get in the way
Of his dreams

And spreadin' his wings

He's at the startin' line of the rest of his life

As ready as he's ever been

Got the hunger and the stars in his eyes

The prize is his to win

He's waitin' on our blessings before he hits that open road

Buddy get ready

Get set

Don't go

I-Saac

So it is pretty offical that Eli's first word is his very own brother's name, Isaac.
Listen to this and tell me what you think.

Ready, Set, Goooooo

Check it out, Eli is officially walking behind moving objects!

Oh No it's Grown!!!

As most of you know Barry and I have joined our "Y". We love it by the way. Any ways Barry usually goes early in the morning and then heads straight to work from the gym. So with this being his plan, me being the wonderful wife that I am thought I would buy him some nice travel size products to take to the gym with him so he could shower there when he was done. Well I started realizing the body wash I got for him kept ending up in our shower. I thought it was weird and then realized he liked it. So, again, me being so wonderful I bought him "real" bottle of it for our shower. And here is where the story begins....

Isaac was in the bath Saturday night and I was sitting in the kitchen talking with Tara and Keenan. All of a sudden I hear Isaac yell....

"Holy Cow!!! It's gown (grown)!!! Agh!!!"
I run in there, "what has grown?"
"Daddy soap. It gotten HUGE! Wook (look)."

You see he had seen the travel size one in there. And to surprise Barry I had taken it out and replaced it with the new one. I traumatized my child. He now thinks everything will grow if it stays in the tub too long. Gees!

When I Grow Up

Me and the boys were on our way to Bible Study this morning and we passed some farm land on our way, which I must mention we always pass it. Well today there was a man running a tractor.

"Oh momma! I wike fractors (tractors)!"

"I know you do. Did you see that one?"

"Momma. When I get bigger I want to be a cow boy. And wive (live) on a farm with goats, cows and........FRACTORS!!! I wove them!"

"That sounds like a plan bud!"

Just How Old Do You Think I Am?!

My birthday is coming up tomorrow actually. And well aging is a hard thing for me. Not sure why? I've got great potential to look good when I'm older because every women on my mom's side of the family is hotter every year they get older. Even Barry says that he married me because he knew the older I'd get the better I would look because my mom, aunts, and grandma are hot. But for me it's just hard, and on a random note, I hate odd number birthdays too.

Well this week I was at the gym doing my usual CardioMix class, which I must add that I love. Any ways the particular teacher I have on Mondays always does crazy things the week of a holiday. And since Valentine's Day is Saturday she had us listen to David Cassidyn (sp) during our cardio workout. Crazy I know, but she made it traditional and crazy fun. So as we are finishing up and doing the stretching at the end of the class she starts asking who remembers and/or listened to him when they were growing up? I, without thinking or evening realizing, say out loud, "who is that anyways?" The teacher is like oh come on we've got to get you into the real world. And while she is saying that, a girl two people down from me was likel "common don't you remember him in the Partridge Family?" And I was like, "what?! No--do you mean the Brady Bunch?" She then giggles and says this to me..."Oh come on you know you watched the Partridge Family when you little, stop being silly." I then looked at her, trying to be cool, and responded with, "well actually NO I didn't. Just how old do you think I am?" She then says without hesitation that she thought I was in my mid to late thirties!!!! Can you believe that?! I mean no offense to those of you that age, but do I really look that old? I know I'm aging. I've got this picture of me and Isaac when he was six months and then one of me and Eli at six months and I can tell I've aged a lot in those 2.5 years, but PLEASE tell me I don't look like I'm as old as that lady thought.

Now for the ones of you wondering how I responded to that lovely 37 year old lady. I very calmly looked at her and informed her that I would only be 28 this week.

She really had some nerve didn't she. EERGH........

Me and Isaac at 6 months.

Me and Eli at 6 months.

Giggle, Giggle

I must tell you all that Eli has the BEST laugh ever. And if you've ever heard it I'm sure you'd agree. Since was able to start laughing it has been the greatest. It's not your normal laugh. It is a deep down belly laugh. Do you know what I mean? It's one of those laughs that gets everyone laughing. So of course, I'm sure you already knew this was coming, but I took a video of Eli laughing at Isaac last week after dinner. Eli always is laughing at Isaac. So here it is. Enjoy and remember to laugh today!

Happy Birthday Granny

Last Tuesday was my Granny's, Isaacs' Great-Granny's, birthday. I recorded this to send to her for her birthday. Too cute!

If the Shoe Fits Wear it.

A few weeks back we were getting ready for gymnastics and I was running around trying to get the boys dressed. And after getting them dressed I told Isaac to go get his shoes on. He said okay and ran off. I was rinsing some dishes and really paid no attention to what he was doing. I walk in ready to go, I walk to the front door and notice he is taking forever. And then I hear this thumping sound. I turn around and he is coming with Barry's shoes on. I informed him that those were not his shoes and he needed his. He insisted they were his. Okay I may be a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but I'm not a whole hamburger short of one. Did he really think wouldn't be able to tell the size difference?

No "Gurls" Allowed

Well its finally happened. I really thought I had awhile for this, but Isaac has figured out that I'm a gurl and he's a boy and gurls are yucky. Very sad, very sad. It has been a gradual thing, like we would be driving and listening to the radio and a song with a girl singing would come on and he would say, "I not like this song, it's a gurl song." Then a song with a guy singing would come on and he would say, "this song is for boys! You not a boy, you a gurl!" I would laugh and go on about my business. Well about two weeks ago we were driving and he saw an electronic billboard advertising for The Monster Truck Rally. Barry and I were talking and he yelled out, "I want to go see those monster frucks!" We were like huh? And then we noticed the sign. Barry said okay that he could go. He then goes, "Me and you go daddy, not momma. Momma a gurl and gurls aren't allowed. And Eyi can't go, he's a baby. No gurls or babies allowed, see?!" Barry and I laughed and agreed that it would just be him and Barry, no gurls or babies. We counted down to the day and they finally went on Friday night. He had a BLAST! I'll just post one picture of him looking SO amazed. And you can see the rest on Barry's blog.